Dr. Neuss

In part 1, I lay the foundation for my thesis: The racial incidents at UCSD are mainly spawning from a lack of intelligence, not racism. Is it better to be stupid, or racist... it's your call I guess. In this part I'm going to discuss the incidents surrounding the Geisel Library. First there was a noose hung in the 7th floor of the library. No, there wasn't an avid rodeo fan forgetting his tools, it was another idiot making some bad decisions. Next, somebody put a KKK hood crafted from a pillow case over the head of a Dr. Seuss statue in front of the library. So, you might be thinking "Ok, so these are clearly racists trying to threaten black people, what are you going on about Feraz?" I'll tell you what I'm going on about, slow down and keep reading...

First lets start with the noose, which by the way was made with a neon lime green rope (possibly the least intimidating noose in history). The incident got cleared up and the girl that did it came forward, apologized, got suspended and explained her story. Now, her story in itself is the most awesome display of "I'm a big fuckin moron" syndrome. This chick basically told the school newspaper "We found the rope earlier in the day, played with it.... jumped rope, and then my friend tied it in the noose... I took it with me to the library, hung it up while I studied...and FORGOT it there, completely unaware of its racial implications. Sorryyyyy" Ha! What a silly lil person, I don't even know where to begin! Who just decides to leisurely construct lynch nooses in their spare time? Who the hell is jump roping around campus during midterm season at the ripe age of 20? How could you not realize the racial implications of a noose, and lynching, as a student at one of the finest public universities in the world? Doesn't she have any brains? NOPE! Stop right there people. We may have gotten to the bottom of the mystery. So, if this is what really happened, this woman clearly ate a lot of paint chips as a kid. (Take a second to picture a grown woman, jump roping double dutch style in the middle of library walk, with a neon green rope as you read this next part) If she's lying... this is the worst cover up story I've ever heard, and depicts her as a mindless chimp. In any case, we can agree... this broad is dumber than she is racist.

Another incident that got a lot of buzz was when kids from the Koala (a horribly trite satirical school paper only fit for an ass wiping) went on Student Run Television and I believe told "Niggers [to] go fuck themselves" or something along those lines (it's been difficult to find the transcript, obviously). Now, for those of you who don't know what a Koala kid is like, it's hard to explain... it's like describing a unicorn... if the unicorn was an out of shape, creepy, googly eyed mutant. These kids are basically those dudes back in high school that sniffed a lot of glue, hung out under the stairs in their classic rock band t-shirts, and worried about going outdoors because of the irritative effects the sun could have on their acne. Basically, they are outliers amongst the normal population. Saying they represent the UCSD students, or atmosphere in anyway is like saying a U.S. runner at the special olympics exemplifies the American track team. It's just silly. So with this group, yes they are probably kinda racist, but mainly INSENSITIVE idiots. But I'm confident they suffer from some mild form of mental retardation. And.. you can't judge retards... it's just rude. But I will say this, 9/10 kids I've met that work with the Koala seem like potential serial killers. So, If I go missing soon, you know where to start asking questions.

Last and most interesting is the KKK hood incident. Some kids got a pillow case, crafted it into the hood, and even drew the KKK symbol on it before placing it on the Seuss statue, and then placed a rose in Suess's hand. Now, is it just me or does this involve far too much creative arts and crafts for a hate crime. Martha Stewart and nazism just don't blend that well in my book. This was clearly done by somebody, probably another chick, that thought of a funny creative way to make a splash in the media. C'mon, you think a real racist would go through all the trouble to make that shit, and then leave it in front of a library... hoping black people would see it... in front of the library... black people. See what I'm getting at. Racists think black people don't read! They're not gonna Decorate the Cat in the Hat as a KKK threat holding a rose(?) some place where it wont get noticed by the desired audience. That would be like Mothers Against Drunk Drivers deciding to run recruitment capaigns in Pacific Beach, it's just not gonna happen. You find a Mel Gibson statue in front of a synagogue crushing a dreidel, then you can cry RACISM, but this Suess decoration is just an insensitive hoax. Kids that never got to do a senior prank, or are too stupid to realize how offensive their joke is.

So, what's my point? UCSD students, and people not in San Diego, need to calm down and stop assuming that there are some huge racial tensions at UCSD. It's all good, take a breath, run a bubble bath and throw on some Beach Boys. There are just some people that are beyond a level of stupidity you can comprehend. When you combine that lack of intelligence with a bad sense of humor and insensitivity you get events like the ones witnessed on my campus over the past month. As for the massive mobilization of Black students and their demands, it's all about blowing up the issue to gain more leverage over the school. This sort of stuff happens all the time; after school shootings, groups against firearms rally congress for tougher gun control. Anyone desiring a change must not miss a contextual opportunity to gain the upper hand in their fight. So obviously, black students will try to use these issues to make the changes in the UC system that they need and deserve. And I say, more power to em because this school needs more black kids... we could use a D1 basketball team. (too soon for black jokes?) So, don't get yourself too worked up about any of this stuff, just let it play out and roll a J. That's my 2 cents, thanks for reading.